Lotus could soon be vindicated
after yet another rapper has announced he’s about to get ill by pimping dope new whips. True dat.
Will.I.Am, front person of the Black Eyed Peas and Cheryl Cole’s mate, has announced he’s starting a car company, called IAMAUTO. We don’t understand the name.
The cars will be built using Chrysler parts and have a Beats by Dr. Dre stereo system – that’s the same audio brand Hewlett Packard is using to pimp its laptops at the moment, sure to endow IAMAUTO rides with window shattering levels of bass.
Will.I.Am, known as ‘William’ to his mum, announced the new venture during an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, which is apt because, you know, Jay Leno likes cars.
Rumour has it the first IAMAUTO proper will be based on the Chrysler 300C – the most affordable way of looking like a tanning salon owner there ever was.
More likely, though, is that it’s based on unsold Chrysler PT Cruisers, of which there are many, furnished with gullwing doors, a dock for a Nokia 6210 and a GameBoy Advance charger soldered directly onto the battery.
Because Will.I.Am is a pop star, and being green is the new being rebellious, the car will be electric, powered by refurbished disco ball rotators drawing power from old iPod batteries.
And the seats will be vinyl, not because of any LP connotation, but because Fergie might want a lift, and her bladder control isn’t the best.
In fairness to William, his intentions are noble: “to bring jobs to the ghetto that I come from.” It’s the same goal that begot Lotus in Norfolk.
As you can tell, we don’t know a lot about what IAMAUTO will do, although two of Wil.I.Am’s cars have surfaced, both built by West Coast Customs (WCC) – they of MTV’s Pimp My Ride fame.
The first is an horrific white DeLorean conversion, which is presumably a joke and which we don’t want to dignify with any more discussion.
But the second actually looks pretty good. Based on a ’58 Corvette, it features an integrated iPad in the dash and is described by a WCC pimpmeister as “the best car we’ve ever done”. This is not what the production car will be, but it’s proof positive of Will.I.Am’s carmaking credentials – that he’s more than capable of paying someone to build a car. Tight.